The Mexican Scotsman - Enter The Haggis
Jose, get your bagpipesAnd head down to the squareSeranade the passers-byeAnd you'll make some money thereJose came to this countryLooking for a chanceTo make some decent moneyTo buy a pair of pantsBut we were in recessionAnd jobs were far and fewSo jose took his bagpipesAnd did what he had to doDressed in his Sombrero and KiltWith his bagpipes and maracasPlaying away for his supperBoiled haggis with nachosOne day while he was baskingA pretty young lassie came byShe said "Jose, take s troll with me"Says Jose, "Si! Si! Och' 'Aye!"They spent the day togetherThen she took him to a danceWell, Jose moved most gracefully'Cause he wasn't wearing pantsAnd he was born in Mexico CityEducated in ScotlandIn sandals and bright tartan panchoJose's fashion statement was not plannedBut when Jose went to the men's roomThere was trouble close at handCause in came Bob, the sailor manThe roughest man in the landSays Bob, "You're lookin' prettyIn your little tartan dressNow you'd best be off to the ladies room'fore I pummels you into a mess"Now you could have heard a pin dropAs Jose tongued aroundHis scottish-mexican blood began to boilAnd it made this kind of sound...Insert raging Mexican PipesAnd when it all was overSailor Bob lay on the floorHe looked the saddest sorry wreckEver blown a shoreNow, the sailors keep a lookoutWhenever they're on the landFor they knows well that they doesn't messWith a Scottish Mexican man!
