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Oprah's last show: Will planet Earth survive?

The media's most powerful woman will wrap up her talk show in May — and bloggers are already relishing the finale's over-the-top flourishes

When Oprah Winfrey launched her namesake OWN network last year, she reassured fans of her syndicated talk show that she'd continue taping it until September, 2011. Change of plan: The queen of sympathy has moved up the finale of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" to May 25, possibly becauserequires her full attention. Oprah's announcement quicklyexactly how the last show might transpire. Here's a sampling of remarks:

I'm all farklempt! "Start stockpiling the tissues now," ."You get a box of Kleenex! And YOU get a box of Kleenex! And YOU get abox of Kleenex!"

What's in it for me?"We're expecting her to give away small islands to each and every member of the studio audience in attendance," .

Paging Tom Cruise... "Details on which celebrity might be jumping up and down on her couchforthe last time... have not been released," Or someone even more powerful"As of now, no word on who her final guest will be," , "but we're thinking at this point that it's probably going to be Jesus! Seriously, if anyone can pull it off and get him,it's her!"

Forget the guests"Honestly, we don’t want to see any guests on Oprah’sfinal show," . Montages and memories of years past would be much more appropriate. Although, perhaps "Oprahcan give everyone a car too? You know, for old time's sake."

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