MAVERICK

5 categories of people that will turn a quite stroll down the street into an ordeal

Life would undoubtedly feel a lot better if we did not have to contend daily with the moronic side of human nature in the shape of a number of unwelcome encounters. Here's a sample, in order of annoyance:

1) Smokers. The worst offenders of all, they typically don’t see a problem in smoking everyone else around them, even children, or their own babies. It’s not that they are necessarily rude: they just don’t get it that other people can feel and react differently to what is ‘normal‘ for them. Nor, likewise, is it that they are necessarily uncaring towards their offspring: they are simply being stupid. Capital punishment sometimes would not seem too much for these people: after all, I still believe stupidity is a crime, and it doesn’t come much stupider than that. I purposely walk a semicircle around them every time I pass one, as if they had the plague.

2) Cell-phone addicts. I cannot give you an exact explanation of why I recoil every time I see someone with the damn thing in their hands. Again, I believe it must be something related to the patent vibe of stupidity that the constant fiddling with a phone gives out, or the fact that everyone nowadays seems to be brainwashed into doing exactly that same thing. Anyway, the spectacle is disheartening, as never before had human stupidity been laid bare to such an extent, and for all to see. Whether they talk or text they are equally obnoxious: I just don’t want to listen to their drivel, or to have to put up with their dumb efforts to text and walk in a straight line at the same time!

3) Ugly motherfuckers. Ok, not everyone is beautiful; I accept that as a fact of life. But here I’m talking about something else. I’m talking about the way in modern society people let themselves go more than a fair bit, way more. I’m talking about the way cheap, poisonous, mind numbing and ubiquitous food has changed the face and shape of society in a disturbing manner. One can easily see that gluttony is often associated with stupidity and lack of culture, but there is more to it. Gluttony is arguably the deadliest of all sins, not because it eventually kills the offender (which it does), but because it (literally) feeds the ugly side of human nature: it is not infrequent to observe that the over-indulgent have all sort of vices combined together, which makes them look even uglier. Their fat brain, unfortunately, seems unable to grasp the notion that they constitute an offending sight when in public, as much as it is helpless to pull them out of their own crap.

4) Joggers. Let me start by being positive: I have no problems with a hot female jogger running towards me, though I may still class her as brainwashed into the common misconception that running equals keeping fit and healthy, which simply isn’t true: it just doesn’t make sense to force yourself to do something that you do not really enjoy, and, if you ever noticed, the expression on a typical jogger’s face is one of pain or boredom (besides stupidity, that is). But, and here start the problems, the typical jogger that pounds his way on the pavement towards you unfortunately rather looks and smells like a panting chimp, and doesn’t even bother to have the decency to pass wide so as to cause as little trouble as possible. Overall, the average jogger cuts a truly pathetic figure, and makes you  wonder why they don’t just stay at home: less trouble for them, less trouble for everyone else. By the way, when I feel like running I go to a running track, not to some downtown pavement.

5) Dog walkers. This may at first sound harmless, until you actually recall or observe what typical dog owners look like in real life. They so often sum up the worst of the above categories all in one: they smoke, talk loud on the phone, and look fat and disgusting. After all there’s a reason why they’ve resorted to the company of a dog: a dog never judges you, and cannot possibly fathom the ugly side of human nature. I also hate it that they use their animals as a lame excuse for chatting someone up. Avoid like the plague!