Creato da psike830 il 19/11/2005

1,nessuno&centomila

Le mie contraddizioni: vivo spegnendo incendi con la benzina

 

 

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Post N° 930

Post n°930 pubblicato il 10 Febbraio 2007 da psike830

Credo che l'errore sia quello di cercare di far combaciare la realtà coi nostri desideri [forse] si dovrebbe fare il contrario.
Certe volte [spesso] mi perdo gli occhi per cercare uno sguardo, non faccio caso ai piccoli gesti solo perchè non sono come io vorrei che fossero. D'improvviso [poi] mi stupisco di un colore e riesco ad indirizzare la mia attenzione lì, dove dovrebbe essere: sul mondo esterno e non su quello interno.
Forse è per questo che non l'avevo mai notato "lui", perchè non ero attenta. Continuavo a guardare dentro senza vedere fuori, troppo spaventata di quello che poteva capitare[mi].
E' l'errore che faccio quando cerco le parole più adatte per non far trapelare le piccole emozioni che provo, quando sposto lo sguardo e invece vorrei osservare, quando lascio la mia curiosità insoddisfatta come una specie di autotortura senza alcun senso, quando non chiedo e vorrei sapere.

Masochista, ecco cosa sono: un'idiota masochista.

In questi pochi giorni mi è piaciuto [però] sfiorare la sua vita e le sue abitudini, ascoltarlo mentre si racconta a frasi spezzettate che poi riprende in ritardo quando il discorso era già caduto, il suo ricordarsi le mie parole e il suo ridere fresco gesticolando morbidamente accompagnando la voce, sostenendola. Il suo restare in silenzio ad ascoltare il mio eloquio disorganizzato e trovare punti di collegamento anche senza volerlo. Il tenere le mani nelle tasche del piumino per ripararle dal vento di febbraio e ogni tanto controllare l'ora sul cellulare.

Ieri notte:
"mi fai troppo ridere quando sei così.."
"così come?"
"innamorata!"
"ma io non sono innamorata..."
"lo so, lo so, cuore di pietra, ma sei divertente...dimmi la verità: quanto stai rosicando da uno a dieci che non hai fatto in tempo ad incontrarlo stasera?"
"6 e mezzo, 7?"
"ok...moltiplico almeno per due..."
"ma fa 14!"
"sei cotta, come un'adolescente"
"Io sono un'adolescente!"
"no, tu sei una donna, una gran bella donna, se ne sono accorti tutti, tranne te...."

[io, questi due uomini qui li adoro!]

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>> poker online su poker online
Ricevuto in data 08/06/07 @ 19:50
My poker online
>> poker tables su poker tables
Ricevuto in data 08/06/07 @ 22:56
My poker tables
>> poker websites su poker websites
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 00:18
My poker websites
>> poker tournaments su poker tournaments
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 01:36
My poker tournaments
>> poker tournament su poker tournament
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 02:53
My poker tournament
>> pokersites su pokersites
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 04:11
My pokersites
>> pokergames su pokergames
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 05:31
My pokergames
>> pokerroom su pokerroom
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 06:49
My pokerroom
>> online poker sites su online poker sites
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 09:28
My online poker sites
>> Cingular Ringtones su Cingular Ringtones
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 10:45
[...]
>> online poker games su online poker games
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 10:48
My online poker games
>> online poker rooms su online poker rooms
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 12:08
My online poker rooms
>> online poker su online poker
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 13:28
My online poker
>> poker online su poker online
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 14:50
My poker online
>> texas holdem poker su texas holdem poker
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 16:11
My texas holdem poker
>> texas holdem online su texas holdem online
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 17:35
My texas holdem online
>> Nextel Ringtones su Nextel Ringtones
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 18:55
[..]
>> video poker su video poker
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 20:16
My video poker
>> blackjack su blackjack
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 21:31
My blackjack
>> online casinos su online casinos
Ricevuto in data 09/06/07 @ 22:52
My online casinos
>> online gambling su online gambling
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 00:14
My online gambling
>> Sprint Ringtones su Sprint Ringtones
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 01:06
[...]
>> play blackjack su play blackjack
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 01:32
My play blackjack
>> slots su slots
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 02:50
My slots
>> Alltel Ringtones su Alltel Ringtones
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 03:59
[...]
>> cash loans su cash loans
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 04:09
My cash loans
>> unsecured loans su unsecured loans
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 05:29
My unsecured loans
>> pay day loans su pay day loans
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 08:12
My pay day loans
>> payday advance su payday advance
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 10:56
My payday advance
>> payday advances su payday advances
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 12:23
My payday advances
>> paydayloan su paydayloan
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 13:49
My paydayloan
>> payday advance loans su payday advance loans
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 15:18
My payday advance loans
>> loans for bad credit su loans for bad credit
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 16:45
My loans for bad credit
>> cash advance su cash advance
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 21:09
My cash advance
>> personal loans su personal loans
Ricevuto in data 10/06/07 @ 22:36
My personal loans
>> personal loan su personal loan
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 00:03
My personal loan
>> debt consolidation su debt consolidation
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 01:27
My debt consolidation
>> debt relief su debt relief
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 02:54
My debt relief
>> consolidate debt su consolidate debt
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 05:49
My consolidate debt
>> debt counseling su debt counseling
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 07:15
My debt counseling
>> debt solutions su debt solutions
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 08:46
My debt solutions
>> debt settlement su debt settlement
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 10:17
My debt settlement
>> verizon ringtones su verizon ringtones
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 11:47
My verizon ringtones
>> download ringtones su download ringtones
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 16:15
My download ringtones
>> country ringtones su country ringtones
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 17:47
My country ringtones
>> cell phone ringtones su cell phone ringtones
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 19:15
My cell phone ringtones
>> cheap ringtones su cheap ringtones
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 20:43
My cheap ringtones
>> nokia ringtones su nokia ringtones
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 22:11
My nokia ringtones
>> t-mobile ringtones su t-mobile ringtones
Ricevuto in data 11/06/07 @ 23:31
My t-mobile ringtones
>> free nextel ringtones su free nextel ringtones
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 00:51
My free nextel ringtones
>> free verizon ringtones su free verizon ringtones
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 02:10
My free verizon ringtones
>> hoodia su hoodia
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 03:34
My hoodia
>> hoodia gordonii su hoodia gordonii
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 05:02
My hoodia gordonii
>> dating sites su dating sites
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 06:31
My dating sites
>> adult dating su adult dating
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 07:59
My adult dating
>> adult dating sites su adult dating sites
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 09:32
My adult dating sites
>> online dating su online dating
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 11:02
My online dating
>> online dating services su online dating services
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 12:31
My online dating services
>> datin services su datin services
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 14:00
My datin services
>> dating websites su dating websites
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 15:29
My dating websites
>> lesbian dating su lesbian dating
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 20:00
My lesbian dating
>> christian dating su christian dating
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 21:29
My christian dating
>> sex dating su sex dating
Ricevuto in data 12/06/07 @ 22:56
My sex dating
>> black singles su black singles
Ricevuto in data 13/06/07 @ 00:26
My black singles
>> gay singles su gay singles
Ricevuto in data 13/06/07 @ 01:52
My gay singles
>> lesbian personals su lesbian personals
Ricevuto in data 13/06/07 @ 06:10
My lesbian personals
>> on line dating su on line dating
Ricevuto in data 13/06/07 @ 07:36
My on line dating
>> wow gold su wow gold
Ricevuto in data 12/07/07 @ 12:08
wow gold
>> cheap wow gold su cheap wow gold
Ricevuto in data 12/07/07 @ 13:18
cheap wow gold
>> world of warcraft gold su world of warcraft gold
Ricevuto in data 12/07/07 @ 15:37
world of warcraft gold
>> payday loans su payday loans
Ricevuto in data 12/07/07 @ 16:48
payday loans
>> payday loans without faxing su payday loans without faxing
Ricevuto in data 12/07/07 @ 19:59
payday loans without faxing
>> payday loans online su payday loans online
Ricevuto in data 12/07/07 @ 22:19
payday loans online
>> payday loans law suits su payday loans law suits
Ricevuto in data 12/07/07 @ 23:28
payday loans law suits
>> payday loans on saving account su payday loans on saving account
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 00:41
payday loans on saving account
>> payday loans no fax su payday loans no fax
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 01:52
payday loans no fax
>> payday loans on weekend su payday loans on weekend
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 04:22
payday loans on weekend
>> payday loans today su payday loans today
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 05:42
payday loans today
>> payday loans wv su payday loans wv
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 07:04
payday loans wv
>> payday loans with no credit check su payday loans with no credit check
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 09:52
payday loans with no credit check
>> payday loans with no bank account su payday loans with no bank account
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 12:40
payday loans with no bank account
>> payday loans wa su payday loans wa
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 14:02
payday loans wa
>> payday loans virginia beach su payday loans virginia beach
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 15:26
payday loans virginia beach
>> payday loans jonesboro su payday loans jonesboro
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 16:51
payday loans jonesboro
>> payday loans instant su payday loans instant
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 19:35
payday loans instant
>> payday loans fast su payday loans fast
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 22:19
payday loans fast
>> payday loans concord ca su payday loans concord ca
Ricevuto in data 13/07/07 @ 23:40
payday loans concord ca
>> payday loans careers su payday loans careers
Ricevuto in data 14/07/07 @ 02:25
payday loans careers
>> payday loans benifit income su payday loans benifit income
Ricevuto in data 14/07/07 @ 03:47
payday loans benifit income
>> payday loans california su payday loans california
Ricevuto in data 14/07/07 @ 05:11
payday loans california
>> payday loans approved by ftc su payday loans approved by ftc
Ricevuto in data 14/07/07 @ 06:37
payday loans approved by ftc
>> payday loans 500 su payday loans 500
Ricevuto in data 14/07/07 @ 08:02
payday loans 500
>> payday loans for people on disability su payday loans for people on disability
Ricevuto in data 14/07/07 @ 10:53
payday loans for people on disability
>> payday loans for poor credit su payday loans for poor credit
Ricevuto in data 14/07/07 @ 12:20
payday loans for poor credit
>> payday loans in the houston texas arear su payday loans in the houston texas arear
Ricevuto in data 15/07/07 @ 16:11
payday loans in the houston texas arear
>> payday loans in one hour su payday loans in one hour
Ricevuto in data 15/07/07 @ 17:36
payday loans in one hour
>> payday loans in illinois su payday loans in illinois
Ricevuto in data 15/07/07 @ 20:22
payday loans in illinois
>> payday advances su payday advances
Ricevuto in data 14/07/07 @ 22:09
payday advances
>> payday loan georgia su payday loan georgia
Ricevuto in data 14/07/07 @ 23:33
payday loan georgia
>> payday loans without faxing su payday loans without faxing
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 03:17
payday loans without faxing
>> payday loans in longmont colorado su payday loans in longmont colorado
Ricevuto in data 15/07/07 @ 18:59
payday loans in longmont colorado
>> payday advance su payday advance
Ricevuto in data 15/07/07 @ 23:08
payday advance
>> payday loan no faxing su payday loan no faxing
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 04:42
payday loan no faxing
>> payday cash advance su payday cash advance
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 07:31
payday cash advance
>> payday cash advance su payday cash advance
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 08:56
payday cash advance
>> wow gold su wow gold
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 10:21
wow gold
>> world of warcraft gold su world of warcraft gold
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 11:47
world of warcraft gold
>> patio heater su patio heater
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 14:37
patio heater
>> armoires su armoires
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 16:03
armoires
>> armoire furniture su armoire furniture
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 17:32
armoire furniture
>> armoire su armoire
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 18:55
armoire
>> chandeliers su chandeliers
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 21:43
chandeliers
>> chandelier parts su chandelier parts
Ricevuto in data 16/07/07 @ 23:11
chandelier parts
>> chandelier su chandelier
Ricevuto in data 17/07/07 @ 00:43
chandelier
>> chandelier shades su chandelier shades
Ricevuto in data 17/07/07 @ 02:09
chandelier shades
>> patio furniture covers su patio furniture covers
Ricevuto in data 17/07/07 @ 03:37
patio furniture covers
>> patio furniture replacement cushions su patio furniture replacement cushions
Ricevuto in data 17/07/07 @ 05:02
patio furniture replacement cushions
>> patio furniture cushions su patio furniture cushions
Ricevuto in data 17/07/07 @ 06:27
patio furniture cushions
>> patio furniture sets su patio furniture sets
Ricevuto in data 17/07/07 @ 07:53
patio furniture sets
>> patio furniture refinishing su patio furniture refinishing
Ricevuto in data 17/07/07 @ 10:50
patio furniture refinishing
>> patio furniture for less su patio furniture for less
Ricevuto in data 17/07/07 @ 12:16
patio furniture for less
>> patio furniture parts su patio furniture parts
Ricevuto in data 17/07/07 @ 13:49
patio furniture parts

 
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